We’re back, y’all! A brand-new season of SEC Roll Call kicks off with all 16 teams clocking in. Georgia, Alabama, LSU, and Texas are already flexing at the top, while Oklahoma tries to keep pace and Auburn insists on claiming championships that may or may not exist. Florida is leaning on “prophecy,” Arkansas can’t temper expectations, Mississippi State’s ringing bells, South Carolina’s blasting Sandstorm, and Vandy… well, Vandy’s quoting Kid Rock. Elsewhere, Texas A&M brags about “half a track title,” Missouri embraces the dark side, Ole Miss is looking for loopholes, Kentucky wants a fair schedule, and Tennessee’s just trying to figure out what’s happening. With preseason polls, playoff dreams, and 960 long days since the SEC’s last national championship, the whole conference is fired up and ready to prove the college football crown belongs back in the South.

The first (real) week of the 2025 college football season is in the books, and the SEC has some explaining to do. Alabama is sick (literally), LSU has a new vacation home, Texas is rewriting history, and Oklahoma is here to remind everyone about that Ohio State loss. Texas A&M and Arkansas pile on, while Georgia keeps barking after a big win. Missouri goes full Sith on Central Arkansas, Florida and Vanderbilt brag about shutouts, Mississippi State drops some fancy finance talk, and Kentucky wonders if they’re turning into Iowa. Auburn celebrates while Bama spirals, Ole Miss admits to paying for pain, and South Carolina, Tennessee, and LSU claim bragging rights over the ACC. From paid wins to embarrassing losses, SEC Roll Call covers it all — Alabama, Auburn, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, LSU, Ole Miss, Mississippi State, Missouri, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas A&M, Vanderbilt, plus new arrivals Texas and Oklahoma.

The SEC just set a new AP Poll record with eleven ranked teams at the same time—and the conference office is feeling pretty proud. But Oklahoma can’t stop blasting shotguns, Tennessee is out here breaking every record in sight, Florida looks comatose, Georgia is barking about it, and Kentucky is stuck under a gas station heat lamp with Mark Stoops. Auburn’s mad about losing a shutout, Alabama’s stuck in a crisis, Mississippi State is demanding to be ranked (cowbells included), and Vanderbilt is introducing the world to sweet baby Diego. LSU is proud of their tuba player, South Carolina asks you to review only their final score, Arkansas claims fatherhood over Arkansas State, and Missouri unleashes years of pent-up hatred on Kansas.

The SEC cracked open the suggestion box this week, and the results were pure chaos. Mississippi State took home the largest margin of victory while Alabama nearly lost their minds at the sound of the Vandy foghorn. Georgia was barking after their victory over Tennessee, and South Carolina was busy sneaking in their usual inappropriate jokes. Texas couldn’t stop throwing trash, Oklahoma was serving up brisket burns, and Texas A&M shocked the conference. Auburn confirmed the foghorn is a real problem, Ole Miss asked for more heart meds, and Florida ate their way through the vending machine while LSU keeps counting their interceptions. Arkansas reminded everyone how much heartbreak defines a Hog, Missouri complained about the heat, and Kentucky has coaching issues. Still.